I have given up on the quest of trying to understand guys. I rem my ex I was nice to him really nice, I tried to balance callin regularly with understandin that he needs his space, I was not rude and flippant on the fone- I hv heard the way some gals talk to there men-MHEN, so rude, I neva asked for cash or a recharge card whilst exhaustin my credit replyin his text msgs, I was planning a trip to lag- ON MY BILL. Geez.
Issues im embarrassed to talk bout now caused us to break up. Luckily I was not so hung up on him. But nonetheless my pride was still hurt when we ended it. I sat down and thot bout the whole relationship my only conclusion was that there is no way a woman can figure out a guy and vice versa.
I have had some toasters disappear only to later hear that I was so “nice” … since when has being nice become bad?
On the other hand my friends who ask 4 money, shout on boyfriends etc are still in relationships with the men they are supa rude to. Hmm that’s one of lifes mystery I guess.
Well so I have been a good gal all my life. I tasted alcohol 4 the first time when in 2004 I was 25. I still don’t do beer parlours, I had my first kiss when I was 19(shakin my head), I have only dated 4 guys chei and im 28, im really not into the clubbin scene I would rather stay home and read a novel or watch a movie, neva gotten laid (I need to get shagged ASAP) don’t do sleep over in guys houses. I can count my real friends on hand while my anonymous acquaintances I e my internet buddies (from blogging and forums) are numerous. So I have kept the really borin details to my self.
Hmm I really need to learn to balance nice and fun.
On a lighter note I hv just discovered that im allergic to kitchens. The allergies hv no manifestations but I know deep in me whenever im cookin that this is not the place 4 me.
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Ok...I just confirmed its gonna be a good week...first blog stalk....
came first...:-)
Hmmmm babes, me thinks you just need to learn my attitude with guys which is...to hell with u, I make my own money...usually keeps them well behaved and panting for more insults...
lol...but on a better note I think you just need to let go and live life cos before you know it, you are old and feel like you never did anything daring...
Do one crazy thing a week..I usually do one crazy thing per hour...we will start you off gradually...and you must report ur crazy to me!!!
Girl, don't mind Afro, nothing do you! lol
Afrobabe, every one can't be like you...the world would be in chaos!
You just need to find the guy that's right for you. if you have to change who you are to make someone happy, then it's not worth it. I like you..just the way u are...(hope that counts for something...lol
lol afro and chickito. seriously afro i wont know were to start from.but im open so any suggestions?
Ok...for starters tell ur next toaster that u think his shoes are really cheap and u generally dont do cheap...
lol...dont come crying oh...report only positive news pls...
Aw sweetie……nothing wrong in being too nice…especially seems it seems to come naturally to you….and your life is not boring! Clubbing, getting laid, dating more than 4 guys b4 you are 28 etc doesn’t make your life any more interesting anyway….maybe more complicated….except it will make you more happy and fulfilled then I’ll say go for it….so really you don’t wake up one morning and wonder where your youth went to…….but for real if its not your scene…don’t bother…I think you haven’t just found the right guy to appreciate you for who you are…am sure you will soon!
goodnes afro now i know u are joking.
@ doll beta human being tanxs
Even from this post, from the words you use, its obvious you are not a relationship person.
It is not a fault, it just gives a pointer to what you need to work on. As in 'skills', y'know.
Who tries to 'understand' men? You mean you were 'nice' to your ex? (You even said 'really nice'). You were not 'rude and flippant'.
What is there to understand about men? Take it from me, men are the easiest organisms in creation. Their needs are really very simple. And I am not talking about sex.
Let go: As Afro said, let go and just let things unfold. You seem to be afraid of losing yourself. You are probably 'afraid' of becoming the girl who asks for cash or recharge card.
But sincerely, these are some of things that put you in context in a relationship. For some guys, that is how he 'feels' he has a girlfriend. As long as you dont make it an everyday thing.
In fact the next guy who toasts you and you agree (as in you like him), call him and ask him to recharge your phone. Just ask nicely. If he obliges, then you can allow him to the next level. Otherwise, he's not that much into you.
Don't be 'nice' to your boyfriend. He's not a client. In fact he should be the one guy you can be flippant/rude with.
Stop treating him like a client.
Consistency. Men seek stability thats why they get married. Dont blow hot today and go cold next day. Unless thats how you really are.
In all sha, just take am easy with yourself.
Sweetheart
sorry i can't help
i'm reading NIMMO's commment and i'm like does this guy know me?
i think there is somin in his comment for "us" lolll
loads of love
lol at all the comments on ur post. Regarding understanding men, don't even try. As for being nice to them, do it if it works for you, but all they understand is rudeness!!! lol.
@ NIMMO WOW.u got me there. im even cringin at the thot of askin a guy to recharge my phoone.but wat u said makes so much sense
@ darllace trully we shld take a cue from him.
@ pink lol. i guess there is sumthin to this rudeness thing. ok im bracin me.
sound really nice...don't give up on men yet...i'm doing something on my blog..check it out for the fun of it, it may be of interest...and no one needs to know it's you if u do apply...
Anongal abeg don't beat yourself up too bad.
Understand wetin, that one you will grow white hair.
Your own guy will soon come but like NIMMO said don't stress about being nice or tryna understand.
NIMMO please wen do u hold ur seminars cos u r so on the mark. I agree with about 99% of nimmo's comment but sha i do agree wit u on d recharge card deal, i'm not good at dat 1 neva av n dont care. Gal u need to relax n do wat works for u but dere r no scripts on how it works. U need to apply a read/hear and selection tactics - hear and read about oda ppls r/ship n select d one u feel comfortable with, cos if u do sth u r not ok with; u'll start talking to urself on how wrong dat was and den he'll see u doing dat n take off cos he tins u've gone crazy lol!!
my dear, u nefa hear 'good girls go 2 heaven ... bad girls go every where else!' ... lol
really, u have 2 understand dat in love/rship, dez no one rule dat works. some like 'good girls', other liked experienced girls (aka Afrobabe & moi.. lmao)
sometimes, am nice. sometimes am nasty. d man dat will stay usually stays no matter how i am. i baffles me
but, really, u need 2 go out there & have fun. i always say dat wen i have children i want 2 b able 2 say 'see u dis girl.boy, nothing u dey do now i nefa do b4, so sit ur ass down & listen 2 me.'
as 4 asking 4 recharge card, i have a way i do it. if i've mentioned 2 u once or twice dat i haven't got credit on my phone & u don't get d clue, U ARE SO OUT!!!!
any man dat waits 4 me 2 ask him 4 money b4 he 'behaves' is not d man 4 me, & i aint wasting time no him. wetin! wen there r plenty fishes in d sea!
hmm. am sure i sound like one of those chicks dat r rude bah
well, i really don't believe in taking nonsense of any man cos i see dat it only encourages 2 continue 2 treat u poorly. my motto is: if u r nice 2 me, i'd b nice 2 u. if u r nasty, u'd wish u never met someone like me
Anon Girl, you're one of my favourite people so I'll put in a word.
You and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum, I've had as many as you haven't, so listen.
Be nice if that's who you are. trying to be mean if that's not your nature will come out as unattractive, believe me. It is perverse for any man to pursue pain, no man follows a mean woman and if he does he has a schedule planned for when he's going to leave her.
Do not ask for recharge cards if you're not into each other yet. When you have a solid relationship, you can ask each other for anything. Thoroughbreds do not ask, until there's a relationship. (n.i.m.m.o says you can ask if you have a relationship, and I agree). I would advice it's a strong relationship before you become the 3rd World and IMF.
How do we preach equality with one voice and then say a man must be 'recharging' the girl's phone with the other? His first reflex- 'she's a grabber'. When a man likes you, he will come to his senses that he should be doing things for you. Don't kickstart it.
But above all, there's no formula for relationships. There are millions scouring the world looking for nice girls. It's abnormal for anyone to love 'mean'. If they do, there's a major problem and they need therapy.
'Be yourself no matter what they say'.
Ehrr...what's this about not liking the kitchen? :D
its a matter of finding the right person, everyone is different, i dont know what sort of stupid guys would take insults from their girls,
dnt matter hw fine you ae, that shit dnt move with me, but the again i tend to attract quiet girls..
but yh bbz, like i said everyone is different, you would soon find your match,
xx
i came here earlier 2day having typed my responds and to a very large extent belived it would be posted but ofcourse by UNREALIABLE ISP wont allow it, i had a long responds to this but now, i think my comment has been summed up by each one of these comments except ofcourse that of AFROBABE.
i tell u this, ones u meet the right one for u, u wont be needing no formulars cos everythin u do will be alright wit him my dear,
cheers
Ah, ah, you be angel? You need to do at least one or 2 naughty things oh, so you can look back on them with a smile. lol!
Try hanging out with Afrobabe, something tells me that gal fit corrupt even Mother Theresa. lawl!~!!!
lmao @ Ms. emmotions and SOLOMONSYDELLE...one says she agrees with all the comments except mine and the other says I can corrupt mother Theresa...
hmmm...I have come to a decision...
I AM OPENING A NEW BLOG WHERE I AM GOOD!!!
lol, 'bad girls gets the goodies,the fleshy meat, the good girls waiting patiently gets the bone thats been tossed...lol
okay, i just made that up and it sounds dumb but true...thats why i'm bringing out my bad girl gear(leather cat suite and whips..lol)
me dont understand the fellas either, same way they dont understand me, thats why i've sent all the men in mr life to is it mars? unfortunately i'm trying to ship them back in.
maybe we should hire afrobabe as our guide...lol'
but seriously, i think we'll pay our dues soon eh, maybe they'll name a beer palour after us...'fantasy anonymous' for the best nkwo bi n palmwine in town..lol
lol@ afrobabe!!!! you are too funny
Babes, be you-and be comfortable being you. Yes, live a little, but enjoying being you. Just dont allow anyone to take your niceness for granted!!!
kai...see this yeye aries woman-afrobabe!...hahaha...not everyone can be like the adventure seeking rams o!!...
...as for understanding men, leave it o!!...you will just damage your brain...take them as they are...do you...if you need to change, then he's not the one...as laspapi said, if he really likes mean girls or meanness, stay away o!!...na problems im get!...
...and don't compare yourself to others...if you have only dated 4 guys at 28 and don't like clubbing, so what...just like there are women prettier than you, there are women uglier...there is probably some babe who has dated two guys and is still a virgin and 40 while there's some girl who's slept with over 100 guys and is 24 (she's has also had multiple stds and several abortions)...everyone has their own path...stay true to yours and he will come when you attract him to you...kisses...
...if you do take afrobabe's advice, i do want to hear about it;)...
aaawwwwwwwww dont feel bad babes aiight;-) I'll tell u what everyone tells me..the right man for you is out there and u'll soon get him(hugs).....[come, hope dis is not off point o]
afrobabe, afrobabe, afrobabe, how many times did I call you? Please do not corrupt this our sweet girlooo.
Anon girl, just be you. If you are a nice person be nice, if you are a cheeky person be cheeky, just know when to draw the line.
And that you don't do clubbing don't mean you are boring, I personally think clubbing is crazy, whats with all that noise? It's nice to just stay home, read and watch a movie but you do neet go out sometime,Try shopping,it should give you a high anyday, even if its only window shopping.
why do women sit around worrying wot they r doing wrong 2 get/keep d men?????????
are d men having sleepless nights on d same account????????
sweatheart, abeg. dez no winning formular, except: LOVE YOURSELF & THE RIGHT MAN WOULD LOVE U. If he doesn't - good riddance 2 bad rubbish den
LRH(Laughing really hard)!!
These comments are cracking me up but lots of them make sense.
Babes, i believe guys love a bit of the nasty and the nice too. So dont be scared to let loose on him when you feel like. he should take ur bad sides as well as the good. You cant be miss goody two shoes always.
and am with Flo on the recharge card thing o! Once you have a realtionship with a man, he should be able to take care of some of ur needs. Nothing stops you from helping him out too at times when he is broke but dont be scared to ask if you dont have!
I think you are sweet and dont worry, the right guy will show up soon.
it's all been said Sweets,the pros and cons, whatever u do, just be good and true to YOU ok?
i have same issues but am not stressing me AT ALL, what'll be will be!
cyber hugs!!
p.s, have u seen ur "l orile" translation that i did specially for u?
Girl, parts of that reminded me of me.
And n.i.m.m.o really hit the nail on the head hun?
-I'll be back
We appear to have a lot in common. One guy I hug out with (as a prelude to dating), told me that I was too nice and that he wanted someone more twisted. "Oh-kay!" said I as I backed away.
Besides have you never heard that "good girls" finish last?
darl,
take ur time, im sure u will find a guy that's "yours".....
keep on being urself,dont change for anyone!!!!
live life to the fullest in the best you can(catch ur trips;lol)....basically enjoy ur youth o.
lol @ u being allegic 2 kitchens.
Don't bother trying 2 figure out men, just keep being u and one who truly loves u will come ur way.
I really do't like it when ladies r rude 2 their men.
Also had my 1st kiss @ 19, never had a beer, n have had only 3 boyfriends; 1 is now a hubby. lol
Lovely week.
it just means the future is really really bright
The only advice I have (as one of the same age as you with a little more *cough,cough* experience) is to be yourself no matter what.
Like Nimmo and all the others mentionned, it's not a job application where you need "to be real nice" or where you need to perform a certain role. It's someone you're sharing one of the most intimate feelings with, if you can't be yourself with him then yeah, you're kinda screwed.
And being yourself means being honest when you're angry, or happy, or whatever other emotions you're going through at the time.
Understanding men (or relationships) would only serve if you understand you in relationships (or anywhere else for that matters)...
When you know who you really are then you attract what you really want...
And I subscribe to the idea that not all relationships are meant to end in marriage (Thank God!), some are there to help reveal one aspect or the other of our lives.
Keep on and try to fulfill yourself first, that's the key to being content (at least for me.)
It doesn't hurt that I do crazy things all over the place either...
(There's something about Aries... lol!)
babez are u saying u neva shag b4?
guys dont appreciate good girls, that's the truth...be good to a man and he takes u for granted. be a bad ass chick, make him feel like u got 20men tryna talk to u and he's all over u like(dont know ryt word to use). but that's how guys are. they are so lame.i know this world would have been a better place without them....maybe not, cos we still need them to shag abi?
when you say you've never got laid, could it be the reason the guys say you're too nice? maybe they dont want to waste your time and theirs, if shagging was important to them in a relationship.
NIMMO gets it very right when he says men are quite simple. we really are very easy to please; i disagree slightly though as i do not like 'hungry' (elebi) girls that ask for recharge cards. i cannot even respect a girl that 'flashes' me
men are just like abused puppies
the worse you treat them the more they run to you and wanna lick you lol
lol @ all d comments.... yea yea, guys think they r easy to understand... probably they are but theres no point trying to understand them.... just be you....
Its good to have a bit of a fun and wild side so as afrobabe suggested, hope uve done something crazy.... do tell!!!!
@ Nimmo Laspapi...couldn't agree more
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