Happenings

Well it’s expected that I shld give d gist of my xmas.
First I decided that I was going 2 spend the 2 week break getting over my addictions namely bloggin, forum hopping, facebook which can all be summarized as an 8 letter word INTERNET. So there that’s why I have been incommunicado.
Secondly my elder sister and her husband came all the way from Canada with two terrorists they called sons, my siblings and I called them nephews, my parent’s grandkids. I must say the new batches of terrorists currently being recruited are a force 2 be reckoned with. Seriously I bought the nephew act for 30 min but I saw through the disguise my poor parents still think the ‘grandkids’ came.
Most importantly I refused to go to the village. I stood my ground and was left alone at home. Here is my diary of happenings
DAY 1. 26th dec
By nine AM the family had left. I sat in front of the TV and changed the channel after every 5 min,not because I wanted to but because I could change the channel wit out someone yelling ‘hey I was watching that’. I got bored of channel swapping By ten. I then dismissed the house help and told her to peep in on 31st dec. She fussed a little bout how I would cope I assured her that it’s ok to leave a 27/28 year old Girl at home. I also dismissed Bala-he doe’s odd jobs around the house. I escorted them out and locked the door doing a victory dance I was home alone wat could possibly go wrong.
At night as usual there was no lite I yelled 4 the guard who I wisely did not dismiss and told him to switch on the generator at 6pm (it’s meant to come on at 7 and go of by 10:30). I smiled all the way to my new room formerly my parents it had all the facilities TV, fridge ensuite bathroom.I turned off the generator by 11:30,I then put on my laptop and saw that my battery was about to run out that was when I made the startling discovery my idiotic junior ones had traveled with my adaptor.
DAY2. 27TH Dec.
My bday.I deliberately ignored the annoyin beeps coming from my phone. By 7 am the beeps had gotten so irritating-why I did not just switch of my phone will 4ever remain a mystery 2 me? On an off note are u meant to reply bday texts u know say thank u etc? By 11am I crawled out of bed it was a really cold day I managed to bath and had to overcome temporarily my drivin phobia to go and collect the pictures we took on xmas day, power pack 4 my sisters laptop and buy a few flu drugs. came home to an empty house.4 a fleetin moment I wondered at the wisdom of givin the help a break but cancelled it when I thot of how I would have 2 wake up 2 open the door ever morning…nay not worth it.My sisters power pack did not work wit my laptop, could not eat wat I cooked as eatin alone is borin,missed the full house briefly. The guard put on the Generator at 6 without being asked. Which was strange considering I did not give him food.
DAY3 28TH DEC
Woke up at 11.this time I smiled briefly, I miss the callous way my evil junior ones wake me. plus im staving and the kitchen is unappealing especially since the stuff from my previous attempt at cooking is still in the sink. Cartoon network has become my constant companion as there was noting else on cable worth watchin. I can’t imagine why the people leaving in Townsville have not left is it coz they have the power puff gals to save them? By evening im getting paranoid and delirious from not talking to any one, I have managed to convince my self that im going to be attacked at home, and I some how have developed a crush on a politician Dimeji Bankole how it happened is another mystery. Im tired of drinking coke and eating raisins it does nothing 4 the pain in my stomach. I cooked noodles but can’t eat more than 2 forks. Seriously eating alone is not fun. I am actually beginning to consider traveling to the village. The comin on of the Generator brings me no joy. Of course I still did not give the poor guard food(they work shifts so afta 12 hours a new one comes).
DAY4 29TH DEC
I can’t eat I cant sleep even changing the channels brings me no joy, im actually staring at coke and its staring bac,I Clean the whole house up including my brothers bathroom! I talk to my self coz im so paranoid I believe im forgetting how to talk. Even my nu phone brings me no joy. Then my evil, irritating junior ones cal me. They are tired of village life and are returning tomoro. Yeeha.
DAY 5 30th Dec
I wake up early actually get off from the bed take a bath put wine in the fridge and hide the remote.Yes I want them home but I still want my Tv RIGHTS. I even cook.Nice jollof rice with peppered goat meat.
DAY 6 31ST DEC
Im rudely awaken by my 23 year old brother quacking like a duck in front of my new room followed by hysterical giggles from my 25 year old sister. God punish them but im glad the are home