Wednesday, October 24, 2007


I grew up reading Mills and Boons. I don’t know why I consumed those pamphlets wit such Gusto. I read my first M&B in class 5. An aunt left a Copy lying bout carelessly and I found. And boy did I find. I was hooked, love at first read. So you can imagine what a screwed up teenager/adolescence I was. I was a mini failure at secondary school I really could not be bothered with inter science nay what happened to M&B’. I was a major supplier and knew all the oda suppliers we had a network that im sure Al Capone can’t top. (The evil books were illegal)
I quit reading the ‘evil books’ in 100 level but my mind was all ready messed up. im still paying the price. I had no boyfriend in sec school coz while my reasonable mates were reading the babysitters club I was reading baby boom. I.e. I wanted a rich boy so I shunned all me toasters and opted for a non existent prince charming.
I was a day dreamer who believed in the perfect life no worries evri thin is meant to be rosy etc
University was the same I was looking for that tall dark/or lite handsome rich dude. I had fantasized that he would probably be my boss. I would go for a holiday Job and he would fall hopelessly in love with me. INDEED. Did I even/ever have a holiday job?
I got disillusioned when by final year almost all my friends got hooked and me? Well I wont be writing this if all was well.
Now I am a working class single woman of 27 almost 28(only positive thing in a way). Yes the rich guys eventually came but they all married. Are they tall dark and handsome? No. they are short bleached men having a mid live crisis and most importantly someone’s husband. And now that I am working and “independent” I can’t settle for someone earning less than me.
In conclusion do I have a case against Mills and Boons coz I intend to sue? Any lawyers out there?

Monday, October 15, 2007


Does visiting an old friend in his hotel room = i want to have SEX?

An old friend/toaster called me up on a Sunday telling me he would be in town on Monday. Was busy on Monday so I called and we agreed to see on Tuesday around ten. D-day came I went to his hotel he was the perfect gentleman. Now that Ten was not just a random time. I picked it so if he starts being funny I could pick my phone make a fake call and say oops got to go my boss needs me…if that does not work I would be like abi u go pay my salary? He is a Nigerian that would have worked.

Anyways all my scheming was unnecessary as he was an epitome of Gentlemanleness. Seriously his face would have been next to gentleman if dictionaries had pictures. He even opened the car door 4 me when I was going! Ha I was deceived. Little wonder later when he called and said he was not leaving town as earlier planned I jumped at his suggestion to hang out. Time for our rendezvous was fixed 4 3pm. (note I left work from bout 10-1130-my excuse early lunch) 3pm came I stood up with a frown on my face I left the office mumbling under my breath. Who born my colleagues to ask 4 my destination or if I was coming back. I had 2 things on my mind

free lunch
free lunch at a restaurant I wanted to go 2 but did not have enuf cash

Wishful thinking. Got to his room he offered me red wine I declined. He brought the hotel menu I frowned and knowing hotel food I asked how the food was. As expected he had nothing good to say I took my cue and said nonchalantly ‘o I know a good restaurant just down the road’. It worked he said we would go in a while afta we chat. I stupidly consented and accepted malt while he chatted bout how he is making so much money now…was not really impressed but I listened, nodded, and said Good where necessary. In my mind I was being supportive BIG MISTAKE. I drifted off channel O was playing and I was busy admiring Dbanj when he held my hands and told me he still loved me (had not seen him in three years so I thot considering I was fatter he would be over me). I smelt trouble, after his tirade bout how our lives would be perfect together I got up to leave. That was when it happened he flung me on the bed and started trying to fondle me. chei I tried to push him off me no luck. I forgot all my talks of if a guy tries to forcefully have his way fake consent and diplomatically leave promising to return. I prayed in all languages including Igbo and Yoruba which I don’t speak, made the usual promises to God promising not to miss another Sunday service. God intervened and Mr.Randy Toaster set me free but blocked the door saying he dos not want me to leave like this that I should stop acting like a child, and stop annoying him. Imagine I said fine 50 50 I am annoying him he has annoyed me the scales are tilting to my side. He let me go about 30 min later.
Thot I had learnt my lesson but as I was typing this that same night an ex called saying he would be I town. I am ashamed to say I agreed to meet him in yes HIS HOTEL ROOM!

Quere: who is more shallow we ladies that keep going to see dudes in secluded places or the dudes who assume our coming means we are horny?

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Im sick and tired

I'm fed up of all the cool people out there wat the hell.and to think i read blogs go green with envy and comment positively coz i am pathetically seeking for attention which does not seem to work.why do humans pretend to be nice. i mean you and a friend go for a job interview at KPMG,u fail she passes and you hug her and tell her u are happy 4 her.get real people u just want to be happy 4 her.u secretly wish you got it.
Dont get me started on when your best friend comes flashin a platinum wedding band(she is marrying a dude who might as well be will smith) u laff jump and hug her.yuck.
what brought this on...well i read Adaures blog .yeap this gal who i can bet my last money is younger than me has so much fun.ok so she only blogs the good things but still her good things are damn good she travels,works 4 the bruces,has alot of fans,writes so well its i read bout her wonderful road trip to Ghana dropped a nice comment when i was really seeting and calculating my account balance to see if i can top her-no luck with the account thing as its in the RED.As if thats not enuf she appeared in true love west might mean nothing to u but appearing in true love even at the background of anothetrs picture has been my ambition.
Well i will not accept defeat all we wannabes lets come together gossiping Rocks