Monday, February 25, 2008

Trash called diet coke and other stuff.

Wat is that rubbish coca cola call diet coke,its just coke wit plenty water.on Friday I was travelling out of town to the place were I am a part time master student---yeap Im doing my LLM and I had a paper on Saturday.well before livin town I entered a super market. I was dyin of dehadration and was not in the mood 4 line wit my weight loss (least I forget I have lost about 3kg) I left cans of chilled ginger beer,red bull,fanta etc 4 a can of diet my mind I thot it would taste like coke.I waited for the journey to begin before opening it.wat a horrible taste I had to check the expiry date to be sure it had not expired.I hate littering so I had to hold unto it for the entire journey. The worst part of the story is that 4 no reason I felt like emptying the contents on the guy sitting in front of me.i really had to hold my self.
Cocolet my black jeans has nu competition. I had this pair of dark blue jeans that was to tight 4 me.well now it fits and boy does it fit.since I made the discovery cocolet has entered the laundry basket and my nu love is now my nu love.seriously I don’t know why im prone to abuse stuff.when I discovered noodles I ate it so well till I got sick of it,I discovered a game called zuma- I played all nite now I cant stand the game,I discovered internet-ok im still on that one but im over forum hoppin im now into bloggin and facebook.
Speakin of facebook I have now become a professional profile stalker.I pity my friends and the 2 young men who I know not but still stalk.
Finally im thinking of getting a personality change. im usually referred to as the “nice gal”. I want to be known as sumthin else.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

An ode to my jeans

Late last year about 5 days to xmas I went jeans hunting. I needed a pair of blue jeans. I have about six pairs of blue jeans but they are all either to long or big at the waist (I have a major problem wit belts) or to tight-I love them a lil lose. I prefer blue coz I am prone to abuse black jeans.
I got the blue jeans alrite but I also found my one true love… cocolet, my black jeans. I had to name her afta my other prized possession cocolet my laptop.
From the day cocolet came into my life I have not remained the same she is perfect not tight enuf to choke u, and not lose so u look shabby. Her only flaw is that she needs a belt small prize to pay.
And to think I was skeptical when the sales gal showed her to me. I only tried her so I don’t upset the nice gal and so she will give me a discount on the blue one-as if.
The very next day I wore her and the next and the next and took a break from xmas-nu year then I resumed in earnest and have not stopped. I have only worn the blue ones once.
I wear cocolet on Monday to work coz its company meeting day and if I wear a nice top she can pass as trousers I hope I don’t get caught.
I wear her every day when I get bac from work and have to go out.
I wear her on Fridays and saturdays to gallivant all over the place.
She has a brief rest on Sunday except if im en route back to Abuja which I am, usually.
Suddenly all my clothes look better on cocolet, seriously I tried to use another jeans once but I looked funny and I felt as if I was cheating on cocolet.
I don’t even wear my black trousers, I’d rather wear a colored one, or a skirt coz I look beta in cocolet. All pale in comparison.
I have to hide cocolet when im not near or in her to protect, coz my roomies consisting of my friends lil sis and a cousin have treated to burn her. Burn o not hide.
Am I crazy? Hope not.
Am I obsessed? I really think not im just in luv.
On this note I beg all and sundry if u don’t already have one get a pair of black jeans.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

That does it. I have joined the band wagon. I am going to do something about my weight. I am tired of being that fat girl. I am going to work on my image, wear heels and generally become a babe. I don’t want to be a size 16 anymore I don’t want to be a size zero at least a size 10/12.
What brought this on? potential-: BUSINESS date wit one of the IT guys in Nigeria. Not IT as in I.T telecoms IT as in IT. I mean the broda is fine. The ‘date’ is not for anoda month. In anticipation I went to spy on the brodas face book profile. Mhen u should have the babes with a capital leta B on his profile chei! I turned a very dark shade of green. Damn all those thin pwetty gals that don’t give gals like me a chance, Damn all them brodas who like those anorexic looking things.
I know it’s a business date where money matas would be discussed but I want to make a dashin first physical impression. Kinda like I enter the room and IT guy forgets all about business that is to be discussed and we end up flirting all nite long then I look at the time and its about 3 so I cant get a Cab, so I have to spend the nite- im getting ahead of my self.
First step I weighed myself. My lord thank God im anonymous would you believe 80kg.I almost fainted. I got down climbed the scale again to be sure it was not a mistake…nope it wasn’t. The last time I climbed a scale 2 years ago I was 70- I got down cried and vowed that the next time I climb a scale I would be 60.
Next I brought out all my old cosmo mags on how to make a lasting impression and how to make your self totally irresistible…I think now would be a good time to see if all those stuff work.
3rd step I have recruited a friend to start jogging with me. Well, actually im still trying to cajole the size 12 gal that size 8s are in these days.
Step 4,I am going shopping for the perfect top as soon as I get the cash, Im thinking Red over my black jeans with a newly acquired next mega high wedges( the wedges are not mine but im sure the size 12 owner wont mind). Wait the wedges are a lite shade of brown hope I won’t look like a multi colored clown. And before any one says jeans is not an appopriate attire to wear 4 a bus date, im assuming the date is in the evening…it had beta be.
I Hope after all is said and done I remember one fact it’s a BUSINESS MEETING.

Monday, February 4, 2008

All about W

Its company meeting time. Im typing away as usal lookin serious.My boss is yappin somethin that is not about compulsory holidays or salary increase.little wonder I am not concentrating. W the person who inspired this write up is sittin behind me lookin over my shoulders trying hard to see wat im up to. I usally let her spy,she knows I know all the cool sites 4 fun and downloads.But today since I am bloggin about her I bend the laptop head in a way that even I findit hard to read wat I am typin.
Let me tell u about W. she is that colleague that all your superiors like but all her mates hate. Me I have no official problem with her.she does her work well and since she knows I don’t bug her so she has no problem wit me...Official problem that is.Enuf pple have come to complain about W 2 me like I can do anythin I laff and tell them to take it easy.
My problem wit W she loves AWOOF, (wats the english word 4 that). Me I love awoof but W TAKES IT TO A WHOLE NU LEVEL. W buys cheap make up she knows little or nothing about Designers. Just 2 weeks ago she was going thru my bag when she found my Mary Kay eye u should have seen her face light up. 4 someone into cheap stuff the gal knows quality.she begged me to dash her I refused. (Im not stingy but W brings out the scrouge in me.)She then took off wit it. I got it bac afta a week.
Last year I acquired these cute wrangles slippers. Trust W to notice.i have worn million knock offs and nameless slippers did W notice-NO. she told me she was going to give me cash to get them 4 her.I smiled and told her how much I got them.Madam gave me a look as if I don’t know wat to use my money 4.How the conversation changed to me using my cash to buy them 4 her I don’t know.but W is on my neck to get them 4 her.
Then there is the issue of my nu ultra silm w880i.W saw me holding it and said yes this is the phone I want.she uses this phone that when it rings evri one jumps.She brought out a sheet of paper and asked me for the name I told her waitin patiently for when I tell her the price.The pen dropped when I told her the price.From her face she loved the phone.i know she can afford it, not comfortably afford but she can if shewants it badly.
This is a tip of the ice, she begs me to buy her chicken or give her cash…as if we are not collecting the same salary at the end of the month, at times my boss brings us chocolates from his trips W will collect hers and still beg u 4 yours. A few people have complained about her.
I am not stingy to my self.if I see some thing I like I buy.why is this gal doin this to her self. I know she has no dependants,so why the attitude? fine so if she thinks i spend to much on stuff why does she beg me 4 the extravagant stuff i get. i dont get her. Poor thing. Any how 4 givin me a bloggable topic I will buy her chicken.