Monday, January 21, 2008

ME A MAGISTRATE?

Last week my mum called me. Ok she calls me every other day but this call was the most fascinating call I have ever received from my mum.
After exchanging pleasantries 4 a very short while she hit the nail “anonymous gal I just gave your CV to my friend professor… he has assured me of a position for you in the judiciary”. Its then I think it occurred to her to ask me if im interested(as if it would make any difference. I am dumb founded 4 a nano second but recover quickly enuf to tell her politely that I don’t think that’s my callin in life. I mean imagine me as a MAGISTRATE which I most likely will be- I sentence you Mr. A to ten years imprisonment 4 stealing Mr. Q’s money, luckily I cant pass a death sentence whilst a magistrate but I could get promoted then…I sentence Mrs. R to death by hanging for killin her spouse (who in my opinion would probably be a hot looking stud-I see me admiring his picture I barely have time to listen to the case). God forbid the court has a wireless network and im on the net when im supposed to be listenin to lawyers who love hearing themselves speak and parties sayin it wasn’t me.
Any how I digress a little so I tell mummy dearest I am not interested in the calmest possible way. I should have been direct coz she still exploded sayin I know not wat is good 4 me-not true at all. So im basically 28 and just livin everyday as it comes. All I know 4 sure is I want to own a bakery and a book rental store, nothing exactly concrete.
She even gave her friend the professor the phone to speak to the recalcitrant daughter. In the most condescending voice I have ever heard he told me that we young pple don’t see wat they the elders see (a line straight from a Nigerian movie).He even called me his daughter imagine a man I have never seen, then he told me when next I am home I should come to his office to have a chat with him. Any how sweet mother said lets just get the job first then we discuss if I want it or not-as if.
See me see trouble o me and my life they want to help me run it as old as I am. Seriously my blog buddies if u are ever taken to court and u find out the judge/magistrate in charge of your case is anonymous girl wont u flee?

33 comments:

Onome said...

na wa oo..y are mummies dese days flaring up wen dey're old enough daughters are tryin' to choose for demselves??? well chic if u were a judge handling my case i wont flee..i'd only use my phone to chat with u online so as to gain ur favor..i'll be telling u my side online(lol)

Onome said...

er babes sorry its their* not dey're...:D

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

and here I was hoping to be first. Onome, onome, onome. How many times did I call your name?

I don't like the fact that you chanced me, oh. I no go gree. lol!

Okay make I go read the post 'proporly'.

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

lol! "Magistrate Anonymous Gal, now presiding."

Our parents can be very pushy, but, we have to remember that they love us even when their ways aren't the best. Just continue to do your best and work towards your goals, my sista. God dey.

This is such a coincidence as I just interviewed a Nigerian on this very topic for Nigerian Curiosity TV, yesterday! When we broadcast it online, I will be sure to let you know so you can share your experience.

take care, babe!

shhhh...cough...wink...nudge... said...

LOL @ Onome.
Trust 9ja’s to always find a way to settle out of court.

Jinta said...

i would stay for a reduced sentence

Simi Speaks said...

eh ya pele dear.. our mothers are something else! simply put ur feet down and she will back up. she loves ya that's all!

little miss me said...

i don't think i would flee if you were the judge in charge of my case..i'll probably look for a way of gettin off with an easy sentence,say...'not guilty' perhaps :)
your mum just wants the best for you

Afrobabe said...

Please accept the job darling, I have plans of stealing money from an oil firm and if you decide to rule guilty on my part I will tell city people/ ovation how you used to ermmmmm read mills and boons,bring down peoples chair while in meetings and not feed the guard...

enough ammunitions!!!

Unknown said...

lol!!!

Ehm, Yes I will !!

:D

But Nigerian elders are funny.

el~correcta said...

well...i guess if i'm arrested for anything and i'm to stand trial,i'll sure be happy to see you sitting as the presiding judge *will it really make a difference*. unless thats not your choice of carrer like you said,a lot of people will jump at the offer.

you can still be a magistrate and have you bookstore and bakery.

el~correcta said...

afrobabe: dis gel,u no serious...but em...i dey with you for the plan!! lol

Naija Chickito said...

Ahh, alas, she updates! Mmmm...this one get as e be. But there's nothing wrong with your mum trying to help you get a 'better' job. Show some gratitude:) If you don't want the job, just tell her so... I'll want you to rule over my case though, I'll probably get away with anything, as per we, we!!

Edirin said...

na real wa!!mummies can be a bit too interfering sometimes, they want the best

my own mum, got me a job, finalised the whole thing, and told me the day i resumed work,..imagine that

maverick said...

hey..thx for visiting my blog..keep visiting..n yeah i went to the court today...there's this accident issue tht i ve to take care of..n standing infront of a judge is not the coolest thing to do...a lil exciting tho..lol..but for d person standing infront of d judge..d judge as its is anonymous...lol

Anu boy said...

Babe, i have a plan... when you get the job... take your mum to court and sentense her to paying you plenty money for choosing what you ought to have chosen yourself....


anyways, thats how Mothers are, they ask you question and answer it themselves...


well Mothers, we have nothing but love for u all

Girlie said...

Kinda sounds like me mama!!!They can be a lil too pushy.....butwith that said, i think u should accept the job..lol

xxx

Tandra said...

well..she was only tryin to be helpful...LOL...:D

Allied said...

hmm.. how i for know say na you.. You be anonymous gal now..

Lol.. but that was funny.. But i will be happy to see you on the bench oh, as par , we go way back on blogsville...

bumight said...

My Lord Ma!!

Mizrepresent said...

You have to live for you...and your dreams only!

Ms. emmotions said...

LMFAO...

lol @ u having to pass a death sentence to a dashing dude, but wont u consider some of the benefits that comes with being a magistrate like having a handsome dude offering his body to you for favourable judgement?

cheers dear

Jayn Sean said...

Will be right back girl, need to rush..! xx

eddiie said...

A magistrate?

Well well...it was a good opportunity.The best point being you cannot pass a death sentence..aye?

God!!! no wonder i shun that side of profession. It involves a lot of complications...

Lawyers, judges,magistrates i think are the best lairs in the world...look?

a client has killed someone but some how theses guys will maneuver and deny the fact...

4wardnfiaca said...

magistrate ke!

it use dto sound cool when I was about three years old... n then i grew up! yup, i turned 3 n a day.
i won't want to be saddled with that post... specially not in naija. but then again whut do I know?

yayi said...

LMAO.....I wouldnt flee cos I would trust your judgement.lol
Parents are just like that. I guess when we become parents too, we shall know how it feels. We are gonna be children in their eyes no matter gow old we are.

Afrobabe said...

hey, get ur ass here and respond to the comments...NOW!!!!

anonymous gal(retired blogger) said...

afro are u not meant to be readin? will reply and update tomoro.geez.

Tinu said...

hahhaaa..i feel u mehn!! parents need to back off and let us find our own path!! i can understand they care and all but mehn the pressure!

Unknown said...

lol you need to just find out more now. jus in case...

Unmodern said...

O yoru book rental / Library business ...not a bad idea sha . I guess you can run it in teh same way that peeps run video stores

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