Kitchen Rules

I am a busy woman-fyne im 2 lazy to blog so here are some rules i saw it in a shop on a beautiful placard bout 5000Naira.Nice rules hilarious but xpensive if u ask me. so i pretended to be talkin on the fone and snapped it so i can share with as many people as possible.. so copy and paste in microsoft word,do sumthing sexy wit it print and paste in your kitchen.And Zephni i need anorther invite to ur blog...dont ask bout the last one pls

Never trust a skinny cook

like hugs and I like kisses, but what I’d love…is help with the dishes!

A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious.

No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the
impression he just cleaned the whole house.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out.

Housework done properly can kill you.

Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on
to lead normal lives.

My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines.

The only reason I have a kitchen is because it came with the house
when I bought it.

There are only three kinds of food - Frozen, Canned, & Take-out!

This is a self-cleaning kitchen. Please clean up after yourself.

Relationships

After 28 years of yearning to be in a serious relationship/gettin married i am finally in a relationship that looks like it would lead to the big M. hold your congrats as the feeling of euphoria i thot i would be feelin is strangely absent. 28 wasted years and all of a sudden i have decided im not the serious relationship/marriage gal.
My single friends are happy 4 me i am happier 4 them Whats wrong wit me.
Mr Serious relationship (s.r) is a nice,generous,kind and husband material kinda guy. he is crazy bout me very religious all in all a gud package. i like him a lot but the thot of marriage has me runnin in the oda direction. B4 when i see weddin pictures on facebook i actually go green with envy now i cringe at anything related to weddings. Mr S.R said we should think of a December date i told him piont blank that my friends and i are goin to calabar this december. he frowned but let it pass and was like fyne Jan will do. i meekly suggested Dec 2009 and he laughed thinkin i was joking. i want to end the whole thing for no beta reason than the fact that i dont want to get married. i just want him as a boyffriend wit no serious commitment issues. is that to much to ask 4?And before u all ask i lyke him, i have no problem wit him i just dont want to marry him or any body.
so advice humbly needed.
PS
i have neva been in a relationship for more than 2 months, i get bored at the monotomy of one guy,and the seemingly loss of my independence as i hate takin permission to do stuff.
PSS
4 give my ramblings im agitated and my mum has a smug smile-my kid sister hinted that i might soon get married